Friday, March 25, 2016

Responses to Hardship

Recently, I had a serious let-down and called a friend in tears. Elise (whose name has been changed and who has “approved this message”) is a lovely person and, I know, was intending to help when she gave a response along the lines of, “Is that all? You can easily rebound from that. I thought this was something serious, like you were getting a divorce!” Despite having a healthy and happy marriage, I was still upset about my other set-back and was reminded of a terrific TED Talk* by Ash Beckham about how no one’s pain is greater than anyone else’s. Beckham’s experience of being discriminated against might be as significant to her as someone else’s experience of losing a loved one. My son’s experience of getting a bad grade in school may be just as devastating to him as not getting a job was to another of my friends, or as finding out that the boy she liked liked someone else was for a student I was working with. Beckham advises we not judge one another’s pain; that we show compassion and empathy. Let’s just treat each person’s hardships as hard and be there for them as fully as we know how.

* "We're All Hiding Something, Let's Find the Courage to Open Up," September 2013.

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