Almost two years ago, I went to my niece and nephew’s dance recital. Watching the seven-year-old tap dancers, I thought about how fun it looked and resolved to find a tap dance class for myself. Being that I live in Manhattan, I found one two blocks from my apartment, and have been taking classes off and on since. I’m terrible, but I really enjoy the class, which I take with two other adults who I think are in their 60’s and 70’s. It’s the only exercise I do during which I never look at the clock and am always surprised when we’re kicked out by the next class of dancers – toddlers in little pink leotards – ten minutes after class was supposed to have ended.
What I think is notable about this is that I found an activity that creates what I’ve heard referred to as “flow” by trying out something that is typically associated with children, and I decided to do it even though I have no illusions that I’ll ever really get good at it. Flow is when you are so involved in an activity that you don’t notice your surroundings or the passage of time. An article I read recently on how to increase one’s happiness encouraged people to create more flow in their work and personal lives. Many of us, once we become adults, won’t embark on an activity unless we know why we are doing it – unless we have some milestone, performance, or goal in mind, e.g. “I’m going to run a half-marathon!” or “I’m going to get good enough at this to show all my friends.”
Yesterday, my daughter’s class put on an art show. They displayed their black and white still life drawings, some stage sets they’d designed, and a Greek myth they’d updated and filmed as a rock documentary. As I left, I heard a familiar refrain from the parents, “I wish I could go back to school and do this stuff!”
My proposal for a coaching exercise is that you do just that – go back to school and do this stuff. Think back to an activity you enjoyed in school – one that you may or may not have exceled at, but that you enjoyed while you were doing it; maybe one that so absorbed you you barely noticed the time passing. Or maybe try one that you wish you had tried back then but never did.
Don’t eliminate an activity because it’s not one that adults do. Don’t eliminate an activity because you don’t intend to use it in any way. Make a movie you never intend to screen, write a poem you’ll share only with your good friend, do a major cooking project, even if nothing edible comes of it, play guitar along with a music video, ride a scooter.
Meanwhile, I’ll be practicing my shuffles and ball-changes.
All the best,
~ Sophie
BOOKS
Not feeling very child-like? Adjust your mindset with idea-generating books like these:
It’s Okay to Play: 30 Days to a Ridiculously Wonderful Life by Tara Marcus & Evan Marcus (I’m quoted in this one on Day 30!)
How to be an Explorer of the World: Portable Life Museum, Keri Smith
QUOTES I LIKE RIGHT NOW
“Great is the man who has not lost his childlike heart.” ~ Mencius, Confucian thinker
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
"If my heart can become pure and simple, like that of a child, I think there probably can be no greater happiness than this." ~ Kitaro Nishida, Japanese philosopher
“The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives." ~ Albert Einstein
“Truly wonderful the mind of a child is.” ~ Yoda
