Watch What You Wish For

Eric quit his job to pursue his dream of a career in graphic design. Design classes were demanding and paying for them, without his job, put a strain on his relationship. When Eric talked about these challenges, he heard, “But this is what you wanted,” or some version of, “Watch what you wish for.”

“Watch what you wish for” responses are disproportionately discouraging. They equate momentary discontent with having pursued the wrong dream in the first place. “This is what you wanted” implies that once you get what you want, things should be perfect, when we know that nothing is. These responses can make you feel like you can’t share your struggles along a path you’ve chosen for yourself.

I’ve been there: Afraid to complain about a career that I’d pursued or a house that I’d chosen.  Here’s some self-talk that helped conquer that fear:

• “I love my choices, and today I don’t.”
• “Right now I need some help dealing with the downside of my right choice.”
• “It’s natural to sometimes miss the way things were before this challenging – and rewarding - choice."

So don’t watch you wish for – Dream on! – and find a supportive listener when you need one.