The Mind Gym, Part One

This week, I attended a really engaging workshop created by The Mind Gym called, "Wake Your Mind Up." While the entire session did just that - wake my mind up, in this post I want to focus on one exercise in particular that really hit home with me (my next post will focus on the session as a whole). In a discussion of how we establish automatic patterns of thought (someone says, "May I help you?" and we say "No thanks, I'm just browsing," even if we could use some help!), my facilitator had me try out an an exercise in which someone presented me with an idea that I did not like, and instead of expressing immediately what I didn't like about it, I was to mention three things I liked about the idea and then three ways I would like to change it. Immediately, I saw the power of this tool and I knew exactly where I had to apply it: My husband is always saying that I shoot down most of his ideas and I want to address his feedback. I've committed to trying this tool out at least five times this week with Jeff. 


So, for instance, if he suggests we take a bike ride through Central Park and I don't want to, I might say: 

"What I like about that idea is..."

- we'd be outside

- we'd be doing something active

- we'd be spending time together

"What I'd like to change about this idea is..."

- I would like to walk, rather than bike

- I would like to go to Riverside Park, rather than Central Park

- I would like to finish writing this blog post first  

Will this enhance our relationship? Does it frame the conversation as more of a conversation, rather than me shooting down another of his ideas? Does it remove my initial resistance to doing some new things? I'll let you know...

Enjoy the remaining days of summer!

~ Sophie

Coaching exercise

Is your initial inclination to think about what's wrong with someone's proposal, rather than what's right about it? Do you need a tool to help you approach tasks that you really don't enjoy doing? Obviously, I am giving you the same coaching exercise that I am doing this week to help you in these situations. For example, what are three things you like about having to organize your closet this weekend? And then what three things will you change - Maybe only do the top half? Maybe do it with a friend (and then work on hers the next weekend)? Maybe do it in ten minute intervals with "reward breaks" built in? Or... What three things appeal to you about your colleague's proposal? What three things would you like to change?

Note: While I don't think you have to be strict about the number three in this model (three things you like; three things you'd change) in the longer-term, I think forcing yourself to find at least three things is critical to making this work in the beginning - to stretching your mind to respond in a new way.  

Quotes

I haven't been inspired by many quotes recently. Maybe you could suggest a few??