A former colleague told
me that she’ll go to bat for an idea three times, and if, by that point, she
can’t get her higher-ups to see things her way, she lets it go. At least, she
explained, she knows she’s said her peace, and then she can focus on supporting
whatever the bosses decided to do. While one doesn’t necessarily need a formula
like hers to approach situations where ideas differ, I really like some things
about it: I believe in pushing back – that pushing back (respectfully and
firmly) shows you care. If you go along with ideas you don’t believe in, your
conscience may bother you. I also don’t like to always be the naysayer or the
obstacle. Sometimes I have to support positions that aren’t my own – in the
workplace or with my loved ones. I like the idea of knowing when you’ve pushed
enough and the decision is out of your hands. I particularly like that when my
colleague reached that point, she moved forward without resentment or regret.
What do you think of this
approach? How do you make your opinions known? And how do you remain positive
when you’re executing someone else’s?
All the best,
~ Sophie
My lovely former collaborator, and a terrific Executive Coach herself, Caryn Joseph Siegel, had this to say about this post (shared with her permission): "Don't know if your former colleague was Jewish or not, but our rabbi reminds us that between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, when you are supposed to ask for forgiveness from those whom you may have hurt over the past year, that if they refuse to forgive you, you are supposed to ask 3 times. After the 3rd time, you are supposed to let it go and move on. Similar philosophy to what your colleague stated."
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