The Sound of Silence

While I usually share a coaching exercise and some quotes in each of these posts, this time the quote and the coaching exercise are one and the same.

Last week, I came across a quote I’d written down several years ago from Shirdi Sai Baba, an Indian saint. He said, “Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence?”

As I carried that quote in my thoughts over the last several days, a few situations all converged that made me decide that this is a good time to write about the subject of silence.

First, I came across some reviews of new book called Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. In it, author Susan Cain writes about how “introverts think more, are less reckless, and focus on what really matters—relationships and meaningful work—rather than on the glittering but empty prizes of financial reward and job title. Introverts are Rosa Parks and Gandhi. Extroverts are economy-busting Wall Street CEOs.”* She posits that at times, all of us—even extroverts—would be better off being left alone with our thoughts. *The quote is from a review of Quiet in The Wall Street Journal by Philip Delves Broughton.

At the same time, I was reading a wonderful novel by Geraldine Brooks about the real-life first Native American graduate of Harvard College in 1665 (Caleb’s Crossing). It’s told from the point-of-view of a young woman in a settlement of English Puritans living alongside Native American tribes. Bethia learns over and over again “the use of silence” and both the gifts and frustrations it brings.

Finally, I was heading downtown last weekend and about to enter Times Square. ‘Darn,’ I thought, ‘I hate walking through Times Square. It’s crowded, it’s noisy; maybe I should go some other way.’ But I was already headed right there. It was early last Saturday morning and as I approached, I noticed something different. Some of the streets were cordoned off. There were no cars. And pedestrians were walking silently along the perimeter on the sidewalks while in the center of Times Square hundreds of people were seated cross-legged on the ground with their eyes closed. Meditating. There were perhaps as many people in Times Square at that moment as at any other time, yet there was a respectful hush; the only sound an occasional gong. It was truly an amazing moment: A moment when the sound of silence overpowered all else and when thousands of strangers – those seated in meditation and those who had the good fortune to stumble upon them – became connected.

All of these things – happening in such close proximity to each other - made me think about quieting down; about whether much of what we speak is actually necessary, true and kind. About what’s possible when we stop talking and start listening: listening to others, listening to our own inner wisdom, listening to our surroundings.

So that’s the coaching exercise for this post, whether you think about it for an hour, a day, or a week. What happens when you speak only when it “improves on silence?” What effect does it have on your thought processes? Your work? Your relationships? Can you tap in to the power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking?