Skewing Negative

Why when you get feedback do you focus on comments that are “negative,” even when they are surrounded by praise? Why, if you have ten interactions in a day with your loved one – five of which are positive, four neutral, and one negative, is it the negative one you think about most? And why all this energy around negative feedback when you generally think of yourself as a positive person?

It’s evolutionary. Because of our “survival instinct,” we’re wired to focus on the negative. Why? It was more important for our ancestors to remember where the bear (negative influence) was rather than where the honey (the good stuff) was stored. If you fail to get the good stuff today, it’ll still be there tomorrow. But if you fail to avoid the bad stuff today, you may not be here tomorrow.

I find this reassuring. If I’m focused on a negative message, I can know that it doesn’t necessarily mean I’m a negative person – just part of human evolution. And I can try to reprogram my brain to concentrate on the positive because I don’t live in times in which I need to rely on my survival instinct. What can you do with this evolutionary explanation?

Happy summer,
~ Sophie