Express Yourself

I am really enjoying having a blog, and not just because I like to write and this gives me a regular venue to do that; but because knowing that I have a blog has helped me become more aware and present on a day-to-day basis. I find myself paying more attention to my interactions so I can see if they contain any interesting threads to write about. I think more about what certain interactions mean. I have to realize on which topics I want to take a stand or make a statement. It’s also nice to put my thoughts out in to the world and to know that some people are helped by them.

I’m not suggesting that everybody start a blog. But I am devoting this post to the idea of putting your thoughts out in to the world and seeing what rewards it produces for you. 

All the best,

~ Sophie

COACHING EXERCISES

In the spirit of sharing your perspective with others – in whatever format you choose to do so – here are some coaching exercises I suggest:

•          Listen to some “This I Believe” essays at www.thisibelieve.org. Get inspired to write your own “This I Believe” essay and share it with someone.
•          Write an editorial or a letter to the editor.
•          Call a politician about an issue that matters to you, or call a business about your experience with them – positive or negative.  If you can’t call, write.
•          Have a “soap box” party. Invite a few people over and tell them that they will each have five minutes of uninterrupted “air time” to share whatever they want to / whatever they feel strongly about. (I’ve never done anything like this myself, but am very intrigued by the idea. I’d love to hear what you do with this one!)
•          The next time you find yourself holding a thought in, consider how that is serving you, and then choose whether or not to continue to hold on to it, or to speak up.

Whichever of these ideas you might choose to do, remember to notice how doing it feels and what benefits it produces.

QUOTES I LIKE RIGHT NOW:

“Give thanks for what you are now, and keep fighting for what you want to be tomorrow.  ~Fernanda Miramontes-Landeros (I can’t figure out who this person is – It seems she might be a contemporary portrait photographer. Let me know if you are familiar with her…)

"Don't look where you fall, but where you slipped" - African Proverb

Catching Up

Response to my first post on this blog has been incredibly kind and uplifting. Thank you so much for welcoming back my newsletter with such positive enthusiasm. Along with your support, you also sent updates - happy and sad, momentous and ordinary - and it was wonderful to catch up with so many of you. In fact, catching up is the theme of this post.


What does it mean to catch-up? Is it even possible to do? Can you, when meeting with family and friends you haven't seen in awhile go deep enough, fast enough to really feel caught up? And can you really catch up on your work, chores or obligations before they've been replaced by other work, chores and obligations? 


One of my wonderful new colleagues said something the other day that really resonated with me. After a solitary and very productive weekend, she said something to the effect of, "My life experience has taught me that being caught up is a temporary state." 


This got me wondering: What changes for us when we think about catching up as a dynamic moment in time, rather than as a goal to attain and maintain? What becomes possible when we focus on the steps we are taking towards being "caught up," rather than actually getting there?

And who do we want to be while we are trying to get caught up? If 'catching up' is a temporary, if not elusive, state, do we put our relationships on hold to get caught-up? 

Letting go of our attachment to getting caught up is not about lowering our standards. It seems to be more about the interaction between doing and being. When the to-do list is finished (and let's face it, more often than not, it's not going to be), what will change for us? Is it possible to experience that change while in the process of getting caught-up?
These questions aren't just my thoughts around the theme of this post, they're the coaching exercise as well. Spend some time walking around with these questions. Do some journaling about them. I'd love to hear how you are answering them. 


I used this portion of a favorite poem of mine in the last incarnation of this newsletter, but it seemed equally appropriate to use it to wrap up this discussion, too. Lucille Clifton wrote: 


oh pray that what we want
is worth this running,
pray that what we're running
toward
is what we want. 


RESOURCE
If what you need to catch up on is cleaning up / organizing your house, there is a website that might be of interest to you -- www.flylady.net. While her style isn't for everyone, Fly Lady's approach is to "quiet those negative voices that are beating you up constantly and replace them with a loving gentle voice that tells you that you are not behind and you can do this one BabyStep at a time." The first step in her 31-day plan? Clean your kitchen sink. 


QUOTATIONS

"Growth is the only evidence of life." ~ Cardinal Newman

"We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself." ~ Lloyd Alexander, children's book author


"It is easy to believe we are each waves and forget we are also the ocean." ~  Jon J. Muth, American comic artist

"I have found that if you love life, life will love you back." ~ Arthur Rubenstein, composer and pianist

The return of Full Experience Coaching Newsletter… as a blog

Dear Readers,

Earlier this week I had an a-ha moment. I thought to myself – I don’t need to be making my living as a coach in order to write a coaching newsletter!  Because I’ve missed writing it, and I’ve missed being in communication with you – my former clients, supporters and friends. And even though I’m settled in to a terrific new life in a new City with a new job, it doesn’t mean I can’t write the newsletter anyway.

It got me thinking about how we lump certain things together in our minds, and about how we can get into a rut thinking we can’t do or have one thing without doing or having another. Another way to phrase this is how an eloquent client of mine did in a conversation that took place over two years ago. He said, “Don’t let the fulfillment of one dream depend on the fulfillment of another.”

So this issue, my first issue of Full Experience Coaching Newsletter in almost two years, is devoted to the topic of separation – of tearing apart things that aren’t serving you well taken together. I’ve torn apart the belief that I have to be running Full Experience Coaching as a business in order to be writing a Full Experience Coaching newsletter – and I hope you’re as happy I did that as I am!

For those of you new to this publication, welcome! In each issue, I share a theme, a related coaching exercise, some quotations (connected to, or, as in this case, completely unconnected to, the theme), and sometimes book recommendations, thoughts from other readers, etc. Enjoy!

Best,

~ Sophie

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COACHING EXERCISE: Separation

What are two things that you have linked together in your mind that, when you really think about it, don’t need to go together?

Do you believe that without cleaning your house you can't invite guests over? That without a stable job, you can’t find a partner? That without the perfect body you can’t buy the perfect outfit? That until you take singing lessons, you shouldn’t join the community chorus?

For this coaching exercise, just identify any of these linked beliefs to determine if they are serving you well as a pair. If not, I challenge you to try to separate the beliefs and to see what happens for you – what becomes possible for you – when you do. I'd love to hear your results!

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QUOTATIONS

“The world is ruled by letting things take their course.” ~ Lao-Tzu

“I long to accomplish a great and noble task; but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.” ~ Helen Keller

“Have good trust in yourself -- not in the One that you think you should be, but in the One that you are.” ~ Maezumi Roshi